Saturday, May 15, 2010

I Breathed you into my Heart (happy birthday jake)

a year ago
in almost mid may
i held you in my arms
as the cherry blossoms
and spring
faded away
tracing the lining of your palms
your perfect shoulders
   like little foot hills
the teeny bump of your daddy’s nose

excitement had tickled
on the drive to the hospital
but after a few minutes
midwife pushed me out the door
said that it wasn't your time
go home and get some rest

and i spilled home
but rest never came

you were pushing your way
through me
wriggling to let me know
this was your day
kicking ribs and diaphragm
for the last times

labor took its toll
and I crossed bridge after loving bridge
over waters that grew with you
remembering the rocky road
and rice crispy treat stops along the way
pain dancing in my head
stepping on my toes
breathing

ready to push in the car,
driving on the 113
then came the calm
before the storm
just a few seconds more
light glow of a hospital sign

i held my breath
and then you came
you un-traumatized
looking up through prunish eyes
staring me down like the moon in the sky
and then your teary eyes met with mine
and i breathed you into my heart
in the first room on the left

32 comments:

Jeannine said...

Thank-you for sharing your very special gift of writing poetry! SO beautiful...

Barb said...

Oh, Alexis - so beautiful - it made me cry, remembering my own births. Someday Jake will read this poem for himself, knowing his Mama, the Poet, breathed him into her heart in the middle of May. I'm in your fair city now - I'll be at the Capitol tomorrow to see the bike racers arrive. We'll leave early Mon morning to see them go out of Davis and San Jose. I biked the American River Trail this AM.

Alexis said...

Jeannine,
Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words.

Barb,
Thank you so very much for your comment. I hope that you are enjoying California and I'm excited to see pictures! I hope your bike ride was nice, cool and breezy!

s. m. leisinger said...

Thank you for sharing your experience so beautifully. I have not had any children so I appreciate the opportunity to understand the process through poetry. I love your blog! I have got quite a bit of catching up to do.

Annie said...

Wow, Alexis-

You brought tears to my eyes- good, happy tears! You built up to it, and then the line:
"and then your teary eyes met with mine
and i breathed you into my heart..."
and then you continue with this wonderful, specific detail:
"in the first room on the left."

I love this poem!

There are so many great lines like these:
"excitement had tickled," and
"remembering the rocky road
and rice crispy treat stops along the way
pain dancing in my head..."

Beautiful, accomplished work!

GreenEyes said...

Alexis, this made me tear up. your writing is so flowing. i love it so much. !!

Alexis said...

Green Eyes,
Thank you and I love you, Sis.

Alexis said...

Annie,
Thank you so much for you kind comment. I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me what parts you enjoyed.

Julie Musil said...

Wow. That is beautiful and truly special.

Jodi said...

Alexis, this poem is absolutely stunning. I hope to own a book of your poetry one day.

Alexis said...

Julie,
Thank you and it is a special piece, right off the top of my heart.

Alexis said...

Jodi,
Thank you and I'm flattered!! Honestly, you were my first follower, not counting family and if I ever put together a book, I'll send you a copy!

JoAnn said...

Gorgeous.
This is so beautiful AND funny (rice crispy treats). Hard combo. :P

Alexis said...

Thanks JoAnn, I don't know why but I just had to throw that in there!

emily wierenga said...

your words steal mine away... and i just breathe in the perfection of poetry. thank you for this. i will be back. your way is lovely... e.

Swedish Yogini said...

Beautiful poem that goes straight to the heart.

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to followmy blog

Anil P said...

A more beautiful tribute so simply yet so poetically said there might not be. Lovely, almost asks for a picture of the very real muse.

Alexis said...

s.m., thank you and I'm so loving yours as well. I see that you follow my sisters blog, Sienna. I'm glad u two found eachother!

Alexis said...

emily,
Thank you so very much for reading and for your comment

Swedish Yogini,
Thank you!

Anil,
Thank's for reading and it's nice to see a comment from you.

Sienna said...

Alexis,
I LOVED this poem!! Wish I could have been there for his birth but reading the poem kind of gave me a feeling of what it would have been like if I could have been there. Jake is going to appreciate this when he gets older. Love you guys!!

Alexis said...

Sienna,
I wish you could have been there too. But, you were there for Ainsley and i'll never forget it. It's funny cause Ainsley looks more like you!

Laura said...

This is lovely. I'm a mama-writer soul, too, and have a deep love for poetry.

The neatest thing about your blog is that, amidst the dishes and kids, you're preserving that God-given part of you that so many of us let fall by the wayside.

Keep it up!

marcime said...

I guess I don't have to tell you that you are a great writer - so beautiful - you convey much in few words! I am now a follower so I can get a poetry hit when I need one!

Marcella

Alexis said...

Laura,
Thank you so much for stopping by !

Alexis said...

Marcella,
I love your name!
Thank you!

Chelsey said...

This is lovely. I especially like the imagery in the last stanza "like the moon in the sky"...

traceyjay said...

shoot... you made me cry too. Really beautiful.

And I envy your birth story.

http://traceyjayquilts.blogspot.com/2010/04/april-was-cesarean-awareness-month.html

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

I'll be honest - I'm not much of a poetry reader...but you may very well change that. Your words are captivating, story-telling words. Just beautiful.

Jenny said...

Beautiful words filled with the promise of life.

songsoflight said...

Oh this is so beautiful! What a wonderful gift for your son to have. Yours words are glorious.

Susannah said...

This is just so heartfelt and beautiful, such lovely writing!