Friday, June 18, 2010

turning into me




i could never get enough
fields of sloping foothills
where my bones grew
and broke
my torn flesh on earth,
pores ripped easy
down the middle
the sketching of scars

the old boulder
where little brother
like the arrow shot
off down into
yellow grass on rattler
then his eyes became
clumsy from poison
my breath held on prayers
he still smiles battle scar

the big hill,
Jill's hill
ended country road
where we dared
our bikes down
and one summer dusk
brought red and white lights
her light, gone
life isn't promised long

summer fires
watered houses and
horses broke free
their hooves over paved road
running hard
snorting breath like water
fearing they would not return
but they did, just like me

falling (really failing)
only just old enough
laughed  through vows
i didn't understand
in white shirt and blue jeans
his named still carved
into flesh of heart
though scar tissue numb
i still wish it gone

then almost years later
I walked up steps
a prodigal of sums
with suit case and journals and
battle scars i wouldn't smile
momma with tea kettle
still stood the same
her floors, squeaky clean
her smile broke through

this all turned into me



a writing prompt from:
Magpie Tales (#19)


Copyright © 2010 Alexis Hallum

30 comments:

Carrie Burtt said...

Such a magnificent poem. The scars of life how they stay with us deep. I love the line, "a prodigal of sums". You are so talented! I love this Magpie! :-)

emily wierenga said...

oh how i delight in you with your poetry... this turning into something beautiful...

Sam Liu said...

This is a magnificent poem...I lose myself in each of your wonderful, electric words. Truly a marvellous Magpie Tale :)

Lydia Kang said...

Your poems are a breath of fresh air in the blogosphere.
Thank you for sharing that poem!

signedbkm.com said...

Very nice...a lot said here..a lot learned here...my favorite line "the big hill, Jill's hill".... cheers...bkm

Barb said...

A story of a Life - loss and redemption. You always amaze. Thank goodness for You!

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Great poem, thanks for sharing.

I particularly like.."Then almost years lated I walked up steps a prodigal of sums.."

soundoffreedom said...

what a joy to read..incredible journey!

Jodi said...

Thank you, from one scared person to another. You're awesome.

SuzyQ said...

Ooh this is shivery good. Beautiful words.
Thank you for taking me on a little of your journey.
Be Blessed.

be not blind said...

"then his eyes became
clumsy from poison
my breath held on prayers
he still smiles battle scar"

The whole thing is so good! I especially loved that section above. This is professional grade stuff. :)

be not blind said...

..It also really got me thinking about the times and memories that have shaped my life. Thanks for sharing and stirring up my mind.

Brian Miller said...

i have quite a few scars, each carrying a story, love how you wove them through this piece..nice mgapie!

Stafford Ray said...

Yes, in a way, we are all a sum of our scars, physical and emotional. So well put!
Also, thanks for your comment and, by the way, we don't cut snake bite sites now, but you knew that! :-)

willow said...

Wonderful weaving of poetical memories!

Tumblewords: said...

Wonderful! A rare quality of timelessness.

kathew said...

beautiful-we all have scars from life-some visible and some only felt.

Lynda Young said...

Gorgeous poem. I love the imagry

Samantha Bennett said...

I love the image of watered houses. Well, I Love lots of your images, but this one most. :)

Arian Rey Tejano said...

Alexis, I think your poetic description: imagery, the subtle exposition of inside story, the emphasis, etc.. all in one, does a great job of weaving what you have here. You're a great poet.

Robert Lloyd said...

Spectacular Alexis. An Amzing piece of work. I fell in love with this verse.
"summer fires
watered houses and
horses broke free
their hooves over paved road
running hard
snorting breath like water
fearing they would not return
but they did, just like me"

It is just a warming group of words that make me reflect. Wonderful Wonderful Poem!!

Helen said...

This was an intense read ~ a wonderful Magpie!

Vicki Lane said...

Wonderful, Alexis! Beautiful phrasing and imagery!

Aoife.Troxel said...

A very good poetic story... :D

Words A Day said...

So many sharp and beautiful images, this has such texture and feeling, and I love the last stanza, her smile broke through..

Julie Musil said...

Wow. I feel like I say that each time I read your work, but wow.

Selma said...

Before I comment on your poem I really want to say how much I like the name of your blog. I firmly believe we find the best stories in the ordinary things. Laundry often inspires me...

I like how you have created a series of vignettes that weave together. You have a very lyrical style. Most enjoyable!

Dave King said...

This is fine writing. I greatly enjoyed reading it and thought the clipped style added to it enormously.

Mohamed Mughal said...

Flashes of Cummings peppered with Sandburg's visceral honesty. I enjoyed it; the summation of life's sensations and emotions, the summation that forms self.

Sofia Sandoval said...

Loved it! Very well done.